On Feelings
I feel uncomfortable when talking about my feelings. Be it joy, excitement, sadness, or pain. Hindi dahil I see it as a sign of weakness, pero lumaki kasi ako sa panahong hindi pa ganoon ka-progressive ang society, kaya mababa ang pagtingin nito sa mga nararamdaman ng tao. (And this exact statement clearly shows how guarded I am — even though I try to be honest. LMAO)
Much has been said about the different emotions people feel in times of crisis and I have come to terms with myself na, to a certain degree, hindi nga ako okay. But I want to know the exact reason why. To use the umbrella term “hindi ako okay” recklessly is dangerous. So after making an observation and asking a question, the third step of solving a problem is by forming a hypothesis, and I came up with this:
Ayoko ng hindi ko alam kung kailan matatapos ang isang bagay.
On Waiting
Waiting is something that we all do every day, but our experience of waiting varies radically depending on the context.
Willing ako maghintay nang matagal basta alam ko upfront. Ang ayaw ko is ‘yung hindi ko alam kung gaano ako katagal maghihintay — kahit na sandaling oras lang naman ito.
Kaya mas madali maging mapag-pasensya sa banko kasi alam mo kung pang-ilan ka sa pila. Compared sa isang restaurant kung saan hindi mo alam kailan i-seserve ang pagkain mo.
On Progress
Isa ito sa mga dahilan kung bakit nag-transition ang mga loading icons natin from the old school hourglass to progress bars. Doon sa nauna, hindi mo alam kung kailan ito matatapos. Basta ikot lang siya nang ikot. (Baka nga nag-hang na ito eh). Pero du’n sa pangalawa, alam mo kung nakaka-ilang percent ka na.
Having this little bit of information made the waiting more bearable.
And that is exactly what we do not have right now. More than 50 days na tayong naka-quarantine. At nakalalamang ma-eextend pa ito. I have no problems staying at home. Ang gusto ko lang malaman is hanggang kailan ba natin ito gagawin?
Hindi kailangang date ang ibigay nila. Pwedeng target recoveries, or threshold ng new cases, or percentage ng mga na-test na.
Something that we can use to look forward to. Something to tell us na there is progress being made. Something to make us not feel powerless.
This is a good read about how progress bars came into life: Wait, wait, tell me.